Embrace mediocrity!

New blog name. Revel in its ironicism.

Poll

In the past twenty-four hours, I've had two meals both consisting solely of some sort of wrap, one a chicken shwarma and one a chicken burrito. Does this make me:

A. Fat
B. Unamerican
C. Racist
D. Both

Physics

Grappling with a new water bottle, I've managed to spill a substantial amount of liquid on myself after only two drinking attempts. More as it happens.

Sometimes it feels as though things are going up in flames right before your eyes. Putting on the news doesn’t help, because usually more often than not you’ll see some type of smoldering inferno that had been ablaze just hours before. But is it the hurried just-missed-it timing of the news crew that itself spares us from a more violent, absurd and upsetting display? The Act itself, instead of its aftermath? Sure you see small disasters every day. They’re the origins of stress: a middle finger in traffic, a fight with a loved one, a task you’d rather suicide bomb than complete. And they’re giant. The biggest hardships known to man. Or at least a man. Because nobody else understands. How can they? They’re your shoes you have on. But nobody’s rushing to the scene just as you’re finishing your less than stellar lunch or when you embarrass yourself in line at a supermarket. Then why does it feel they should? HEADLINE: Man Trips Over Crack In Sidewalk, Curses City. HEADLINE: Cabinets Full Yet “Nothing to Eat”. HEADLINE: Man Safe and Warm in Apartment, Still Furious. This is the real news, the day-to-day news. The news nobody sees. The news nobody should have to see, because unlike a smoldering pile of dusty, beige ruins, it’s entirely personal, unaffecting and unimportant. Sure there are “inner battles” and “personal turmoils”, but in reality the most risky thing we do every day is step outside or drive a car or (God forbid) fly. I think Arnold Schwarzenegger said it best (Schwarzenegger by the way was in spell-check oddly enough) when he turned to a crying five year old in Kindergarten Cop and grunted, “Get ova it”. He could have run his entire gubernatorial campaign on that gem and still won I think. At least I would have voted for him. Of course, then I’d have been living in California, and who knows what my life would have been like. Probably a HUGE disaster.

The Stillness That Precedes the Great Clash for Power in the Sky

NaNoWriMo is fast approaching with it's key clacking, heavy lidded, maniacally creative little legs. It's an exciting thing, partly because I think I might have an idea to write. Problem is I never finished last year's. And if I want to consider myself a self-respecting Wrimo, I'll finish it...before November 1st. I think I had just surpassed 40,000 words last year. Which if I do say so isn't too bad for a noob.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's this:
Insanity.

Basically it's a bunch of literary inclined masochists that thirst to write something meaningful and need an excuse to do so. Or maybe that's just me. Any way you slice it, my November '09 will be holed up, spaced out and full of adjectives. I apologize in advance.

ADDENDUM

I've located my progress chart from last year. It's not pretty:



I'm going to blow this up and put it on my wall. Nay, my CEILING!!

MIX TAPE: Let's Hit the Road 2

This past weekend was my brother's wedding, an opulent celebration of food, family, and food. So, slaves to tradition, the two table expanse of the Petti family trucked it down to Long Island to mingle with the 150+ population of Kemler headquarters. And like any self respecting indie music-loving yuppy, I whipped up a mix for Erin and I to entrance ourselves with for the 5-hour trek across the northeast's worst interstates. I'll admit: much like the best man speech, it was touch and go crafting this one into something worth putting on recordable media, but in the end both came out of the gates with a solid A- (at least in my grading system). In fact I enjoyed this one so much, I thought I'd share it with the entire world.

But regardless of whether the planet descends upon thepettifile like so many well-intentioned locusts, personally this will at least stand to draw up sweet, sweet memories of a pleasant drive south, a soaking drive north, and a fantastic nuptial-infused party.

01 - Okkervil River - Plus Ones
02 - Beirut - Postcards from Italy
03 - Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out of this Country
04 - Frightened Rabbit - The Twist
05 - New Buffalo - Recovery
06 - Mates of State - These Days
07 - She & Him - Sweet Darlin'
08 - Arcade Fire - Wake Up (Wild Things Version)
09 - Feist - Mushaboom (Postal Service Remix)
10 - The Shins - Fighting In A Sack
11 - Sufjan Stevens - Chicago (Adult Contemporary Edition)
12 - Beirut - Nantes
13 - Thirteen Senses - Thru The Glass
14 - Regina Spektor - Us
15 - Mates of State - Fraud in the 80s
16 - Okkervil River - Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear
17 - The Essex Green - Don't Know Why (You Stay)
18 - New Buffalo - Emotional Champ
19 - Justin Vernon - Frail Sail
20 - Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken

The fountain glugged, micturating into his Nalgene with the flow of a drunken bachelor yet performing better than the most efficient worker bee in the droning fluorescent office. He stood as still as a pothos on a breezeless morning, absentmindedly gazing at the boundary where the carpet and the tile conferenced. With the forethought of a zombie he mumbled, "Write something everyday." His bottle runneth over.

No Rules No Regrets, In Pictures

Not too long ago, Bastards traveled just south to Providence, RI for the renowned Improv Festival. Mr. Matt Tucker had his camera at the big event. And while many doings, happenstances and transactions occurred during this fateful set of hours, one fact remains proven by these photos: we all touch our faces way too much.

http://www.matttucker.org/journal/2009/7/2/providence-improv-fest.html

Enjoy! I know I did.

It's Business Time

As with most things, I'm a little late to this game. I received Flight of the Conchords, season 1 for my birthday from a long time friend and it sat on top of my DVD player for months. Well I started watching it finally. And not only are these guys from New Zealand, like Lord of the Rings New Zealand, but they're hilarious to boot. Plus my Murray impression is spot on, or so I've been told.

Below is my personal favorite from the series so far. Good for a laugh, especially in the middle of that weird ass Friday you're having.

Quickly,

I'm swamped today. A good swamped, not like ass swaped. Got this email just now as a response to a case I opened:

Hi Ryan,

Your petition start to being proccess,


Thanks,

Lizbeth

Really?

Hi Lizbeth,

I'm sorry, you forgot almost all of the vowels in your name, as well as ALL OF YOUR PRESENT 3RD SINGULAR FORMS OF 'BE',

Thanks,

Rn

As promised...

They were on my laptop the whole time!

Time to tell the world.

"Chick Magnet" goes public! Congrats Team!

Chick Magnet from Jim Kenney on Vimeo.

The executive summary by Jim:

This was created for the 2009 48 Hour Film Festival in Boston. Over 100 Boston teams all made short films within 48 hours, given the following parameters: a magnet as a prop; "Yes! I mean I hope so." as a line of dialog; and Marty or Mary Quinzani (2nd in command) as a character. Our team drew Mockumentary as our random genre. We created a basic storyline and then went off and shot about 2 hours of footage. I edited like mad and we turned it in just a few minutes before the deadline. We won audience choice for our screening night, best editing, and best performer (Ryan Petti). Thanks for watching!

The Kenneys hit the Big Screen, Part 2

One Saturday about a month ago, I ran around both Dorchester and Harvard Square with one of my dad's tank tops from 1973 and ate a TON of ice cream. Jim and Rheri, collectively World From Scratch (such genii behind all of these magnificent pieces), were there getting everything on film. Other participants included Lisa "Environmentally Friendly" Cordner, Erin "Good Sport" McGhee, and Johanna "Jim's sister" Kenney. What resulted was a beautifully put together short film entitled "Chick Magnet" that has yet to be released online.


Incredibly, our tiny little movie was picked as Audience Favorite of our group during the initial 48 Hour Film Project screenings and is being shown at the Best of Boston screening tonight at the Kendall Square theater! As far as I can tell tickets are still available, but will most assuredly sell out before the show.

If you're around, it's pretty much guaranteed to be a fun night of good quality local film making!

Email from my beloved brother

Matt Petti

___________________________________________________________________

"This message and any attachments are intended only for the use of the addressee and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If the reader of the message is not the intended recipient or an authorized representative of the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use or action taken in reliance upon this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify sender immediately [by replying to this email] and delete the message and any attachments from your system. Any statements or opinions expressed in this email are those of the sender and do not necessarily represent those of the sender's employer, its affiliated companies or any other person. Internet communications cannot be guaranteed to be timely, secure, error or virus free. The sender accepts no responsibility for any of the foregoing."

UPDATE: Another brotherly sentiment:


Matt Petti

___________________________________________________________________

"This message and any attachments are intended only for the use of the addressee and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If the reader of the message is not the intended recipient or an authorized representative of the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use or action taken in reliance upon this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify sender immediately [by replying to this email] and delete the message and any attachments from your system. Any statements or opinions expressed in this email are those of the sender and do not necessarily represent those of the sender's employer, its affiliated companies or any other person. Internet communications cannot be guaranteed to be timely, secure, error or virus free. The sender accepts no responsibility for any of the foregoing."

In honor of folks and their achievements, both major and not so

I've recently revamped and dusted off this here blog. In doing so however I've discovered that way back when I started this particular incarnation of my online rants, I short changed a friend of mine, ignoring his request to post a certain set of pictures. This friend is Sir Eric Pope, and the set of pictures (or a single picture rather) is that of yours truly riding Calvin Swaim as if he were Falcor the Luckdragon. Now, while I don't have this exact one he was refering to on hand (I'll need to find it later tonight at home), I did stumble across these gems. They're from a party back in aught three where Calvin , Pope and I were so bored and drunk. I show them now as consolation regarding the slight slight dating back over a year and a half but also in celebration of said friend's appearance on Jimmy Fallon. (What?? I know! I'd like to know more too; this was all heresay, California Raisins style.)

So shown here are first the photo's inspirations, then their interpretations, crafted by the celebrated Eric Pope.

It should also be noted that said party was the same one wherein yours truly broke a window, to the delight of all...well, some.... Note also that my fat kid impersonation was spot on.


UPDATE: Just found the video of Pope rock banding with Jason Sudeikis:



Congrats Pope!

Damn. Let me try that again.

My life is filled with, among other things, movie and video game quotes that nobody understands.

Moving on.

Contrary to what 90s grunge and Holden Caulfield will have you believe, there are delightful, goofy, happy things in the universe. One such thing is this:

The Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake

Yes, cheese rolling down a hill followed by men and women rolling down a hill after the cheese. Picture courtesy of Boston.com, AP Photo/Barry Batchelor/PA Wire, so back off.

See the rest of the images of people taking humorously horrible dirt biffs here:

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/05/coopers_hill_cheeserolling.html

After viewing these, I thought my life a tad improved, as it was an enjoyable personal discovery and an online adventure definitely worth a chuckle or two. Thusly, I planned to go about my days thinking back fondly on these frozen moments and most likely never stumbling upon this Cheese Rolling fiasco again.

Then THIS MORNING happened. The Maccabees, a UK band I heard once on WFNX's only decent radio show, a band who sadly never comes to the states, a band that now I am clearly only trumpeting to boost my own cred (if such a thing at 28 exists anymore), blasted an email out to their email list with an announcement of their new video, a DOCUMENTARY on the CHEESE ROLLING COMPETITION.  It's goofy, fun, heroic and best of all, puts actual motion to the absurdity one viewed above.

Strange connections. Happy Friday indeed.