Now I like to torture myself just as much as the next hapless individual, and part of this passive-aggressive self-suffering comes in the form of travel emails. Once in a while I'll get these ones entitled "Deals and Steals" that detail four or five travel packages that go from one city to another and are usually never relevant. Today's edition though featured an amazing offer for a "weekend escape" from Memphis to BOSTON. Now these things all have images next to each blurb showcasing each destinations luxuries, adventures, or sites to behold. A trip to Denver? Climb a snow covered mountain side against the backdrop of a crystal blue sky. Love Vegas? Soak up the night with the greatest light spectacle of any city. Hitting up New Orleans? Enjoy the old southern charm and warm hospitality in the region's great mansions. Or maybe Houston's your thing. Witness the magnificence of the universe itself and man's enduring quest of discovery at NASA's Johnson Space Center! Boston you say? Have some tea:
Really? This is what happens in Boston? You sit at some bullshit coffeehouse in late afternoon and dip a tea bag in some water? And whose glasses are those? Arsenio Hall's? Why are they translucent? Is it 1989? And what in holy hell do you need silverware for? You're drinking tea, you jerk. Give me a break. I'm getting a headache just thinking about how boring this is.
This is all incredibly unimportant. I have to go write 5000 words. BYE.
3 comments:
This is hilarious. Is it a subversive historical reference?
I should have included the almost as infuriating description:
"Lobsters, fall leaves, the Red Sox, and American history--there's nothing like the exuberant tea-party blend that is Boston."
I would buy a gun just to track down this copywriter and blow them away.
"You'll have a massacre of a good time!
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