Sometimes it feels as though things are going up in flames right before your eyes. Putting on the news doesn’t help, because usually more often than not you’ll see some type of smoldering inferno that had been ablaze just hours before. But is it the hurried just-missed-it timing of the news crew that itself spares us from a more violent, absurd and upsetting display? The Act itself, instead of its aftermath? Sure you see small disasters every day. They’re the origins of stress: a middle finger in traffic, a fight with a loved one, a task you’d rather suicide bomb than complete. And they’re giant. The biggest hardships known to man. Or at least a man. Because nobody else understands. How can they? They’re your shoes you have on. But nobody’s rushing to the scene just as you’re finishing your less than stellar lunch or when you embarrass yourself in line at a supermarket. Then why does it feel they should? HEADLINE: Man Trips Over Crack In Sidewalk, Curses City. HEADLINE: Cabinets Full Yet “Nothing to Eat”. HEADLINE: Man Safe and Warm in Apartment, Still Furious. This is the real news, the day-to-day news. The news nobody sees. The news nobody should have to see, because unlike a smoldering pile of dusty, beige ruins, it’s entirely personal, unaffecting and unimportant. Sure there are “inner battles” and “personal turmoils”, but in reality the most risky thing we do every day is step outside or drive a car or (God forbid) fly. I think Arnold Schwarzenegger said it best (Schwarzenegger by the way was in spell-check oddly enough) when he turned to a crying five year old in Kindergarten Cop and grunted, “Get ova it”. He could have run his entire gubernatorial campaign on that gem and still won I think. At least I would have voted for him. Of course, then I’d have been living in California, and who knows what my life would have been like. Probably a HUGE disaster.

The Stillness That Precedes the Great Clash for Power in the Sky

NaNoWriMo is fast approaching with it's key clacking, heavy lidded, maniacally creative little legs. It's an exciting thing, partly because I think I might have an idea to write. Problem is I never finished last year's. And if I want to consider myself a self-respecting Wrimo, I'll finish it...before November 1st. I think I had just surpassed 40,000 words last year. Which if I do say so isn't too bad for a noob.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's this:
Insanity.

Basically it's a bunch of literary inclined masochists that thirst to write something meaningful and need an excuse to do so. Or maybe that's just me. Any way you slice it, my November '09 will be holed up, spaced out and full of adjectives. I apologize in advance.

ADDENDUM

I've located my progress chart from last year. It's not pretty:



I'm going to blow this up and put it on my wall. Nay, my CEILING!!

MIX TAPE: Let's Hit the Road 2

This past weekend was my brother's wedding, an opulent celebration of food, family, and food. So, slaves to tradition, the two table expanse of the Petti family trucked it down to Long Island to mingle with the 150+ population of Kemler headquarters. And like any self respecting indie music-loving yuppy, I whipped up a mix for Erin and I to entrance ourselves with for the 5-hour trek across the northeast's worst interstates. I'll admit: much like the best man speech, it was touch and go crafting this one into something worth putting on recordable media, but in the end both came out of the gates with a solid A- (at least in my grading system). In fact I enjoyed this one so much, I thought I'd share it with the entire world.

But regardless of whether the planet descends upon thepettifile like so many well-intentioned locusts, personally this will at least stand to draw up sweet, sweet memories of a pleasant drive south, a soaking drive north, and a fantastic nuptial-infused party.

01 - Okkervil River - Plus Ones
02 - Beirut - Postcards from Italy
03 - Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out of this Country
04 - Frightened Rabbit - The Twist
05 - New Buffalo - Recovery
06 - Mates of State - These Days
07 - She & Him - Sweet Darlin'
08 - Arcade Fire - Wake Up (Wild Things Version)
09 - Feist - Mushaboom (Postal Service Remix)
10 - The Shins - Fighting In A Sack
11 - Sufjan Stevens - Chicago (Adult Contemporary Edition)
12 - Beirut - Nantes
13 - Thirteen Senses - Thru The Glass
14 - Regina Spektor - Us
15 - Mates of State - Fraud in the 80s
16 - Okkervil River - Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear
17 - The Essex Green - Don't Know Why (You Stay)
18 - New Buffalo - Emotional Champ
19 - Justin Vernon - Frail Sail
20 - Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken

The fountain glugged, micturating into his Nalgene with the flow of a drunken bachelor yet performing better than the most efficient worker bee in the droning fluorescent office. He stood as still as a pothos on a breezeless morning, absentmindedly gazing at the boundary where the carpet and the tile conferenced. With the forethought of a zombie he mumbled, "Write something everyday." His bottle runneth over.

No Rules No Regrets, In Pictures

Not too long ago, Bastards traveled just south to Providence, RI for the renowned Improv Festival. Mr. Matt Tucker had his camera at the big event. And while many doings, happenstances and transactions occurred during this fateful set of hours, one fact remains proven by these photos: we all touch our faces way too much.

http://www.matttucker.org/journal/2009/7/2/providence-improv-fest.html

Enjoy! I know I did.

It's Business Time

As with most things, I'm a little late to this game. I received Flight of the Conchords, season 1 for my birthday from a long time friend and it sat on top of my DVD player for months. Well I started watching it finally. And not only are these guys from New Zealand, like Lord of the Rings New Zealand, but they're hilarious to boot. Plus my Murray impression is spot on, or so I've been told.

Below is my personal favorite from the series so far. Good for a laugh, especially in the middle of that weird ass Friday you're having.

Quickly,

I'm swamped today. A good swamped, not like ass swaped. Got this email just now as a response to a case I opened:

Hi Ryan,

Your petition start to being proccess,


Thanks,

Lizbeth

Really?

Hi Lizbeth,

I'm sorry, you forgot almost all of the vowels in your name, as well as ALL OF YOUR PRESENT 3RD SINGULAR FORMS OF 'BE',

Thanks,

Rn