Question:

It is possible to drink an effing soda without slurping it everytime, right? Right?? I'm just asking.

I'm actually seven years old.

So this happened yesterday:


A bunch of dudes went to fucking SPACE. Of course nowadays it's a sidebar to some scummy governor (scuvernor) getting some lipstick on his dipstick, and it's just as worn out to mention how space travel isn't really news to anybody anymore. But it's fucking SPACE. It's so intense I feel that to do space justice, it needs to be preceeded with an uncomfy F-BOMB.

In case you don't know, and if you don't you will never ever ever know me, I'm an avid fan of space. But despite my superfandom of the final fronteir, I fear I may never be able to travel there. The train left on the astronaut track somewhere around the time I was flunking Computer Graphics. And if space travel ever does become privatized in my lifetime, chances are I won't have the funds to do it. My only shot is maybe to take up the Carl Sagan cross, and just write about crazy space shit.

At any rate my unfounded love for it, like space itself, is unreasonably huge.

Bastards Bonanza

It's Beer Thursday day in my office. And since I'm going right to IB after this, I thought I'd indulge for once. I still can't chum around in the kitchenette with the rest of these bloaks though. It just doesn't work. Especially after they consistantly call a girl on tv who's just been reported murdered as hot.

So that may in fact make me an alcoholic, as I'm sitting here alone at my desk drinking a bud light.

Let's leave that for now. Presently I find myself in Bastards limbo. Last night at the Asylum was one of the funnest shows I've done in a long time, and tonight promises to be no different. And both for completely different reasons. We had all six Bastards founders on stage last night, a combo which is as rewarding as it is rare. Hopefully that will change in the near future...the rare part. But tonight is shaping up to be almost just as tops, if anything simply for the fact that we'll be in an entirely new place. And one that we'll be in every week. After about a month of not performing, this week has sort of been a reminder why I'm doing dumb shit like this. It always seems absurd when you try to explain it to somebody, and they almost always instantly judge you and take the higher ground. Maybe it's my delivery. But I'd like to think that they just don't get it.

It's a B-tarded Wednesday

So if you're reading this, you've probably already read Erin's blog and thus probably already know that there's a Bastards Inc. show tonight at Improv Asylum. So...you'd better be going.

But there's there's a Bastards Inc. show tonight at Improv Asylum. A full hour and a half of Bastards creamy comedy sprinkled with stand-up and who knows what else jimmies. Plus the Bastards family is fully reunited!!

BASTARDS: ALL IN

Where's my giant looney tunes gangsta t-shirt?

Right now I'm completely stuck in 1996. I blasting Silverchair, stuffing my face and tuning out everyone around me and not even GIVING a shit. 

Granted some things are different, like I'm at work and I have headphones in so as not to disturb my coworkers with my rock...and I'm eating an apple instead of a hot pocket.

Man.

----

UPDATE:What's weird about this post? I hadn't even watched the latest LOST yet. That, and Donnie Darko is randomly on-demand now. WTF is happening?

Hello? Is there anybody in there?

I'm proud to say that this posting was brought to you by my mobile
phone and Gmail. So in case I witness a murder or can't keep my drunk
quiet or find a quarter, i don't have to get to a computer to be an
asshole. I can do it right from...well in this case, my office...where
I'm surrounded by literally nine computers. What a maroon.

If only my coffee was a little more Irish